Thursday, January 29, 2009

In Memoriam: The Republicans

A glimpse from the MeanMesa "Future History" Series:

House Tea Bags in all their glory.  ca: 2011
Tea Bag base voters in all their glory.  ca: 2011
Republican Party becomes regional, rural.  ca: 2011

An excerpt from the Condensed History of the World, 413th edition, “Glossary of Contemporary Terms and Titles Throughout History.” Date of original publication 2954, [P.O.E.]. Date of 413th edition 3418, [P.O.E.].

Republican Party (Republican, -s [proper n.]; Republican [proper adj.], republican [common adj.])

The term Republican or republican was used intermittently as a title [“brand”] for a variety of political parties and other less well defined bodies of political philosophy throughout classical times [“ancient Greek, Roman, etc.”] to roughly the first years P.O.E. [Post Obama Emergence]. The self-imposed extinction of the last modern form of “Republican Party” [see: “GOP”] in the final days of the American Imperium [2,000 - 2,008 C.E. {“Common Era”}] is widely considered a formative factor in shaping modern civilization.

One contemporary account: (circa 2009, C.E.) "It was amazing and unexpected. Every Republican in the House simply surrendered at once. Clearly, the aging party leadership had imposed its will in favor of one last, symbolic gesture as a monument to the purity of the party's dedication to old style obstructionism. Although many at the time considered the action to be no more than 'sour grapes' at a spending bill moving through its legislative process too fast for traditional Republican looting, the unanimous self-destruction of the Party itself caught everyone by surprise. True to the end, Republicans still willing to speak publicly, continued to promote the Party's ancient mantra: "The entire purpose of the creation of the human race is to cut taxes."

Many historical observers, writing at the time, consider the Republican Party’s [GOP] attempt at the obstruction of the initial Obama economic rescue plan the most idealistic case of voluntary self-dissolution of any political entity, an estimate made especially pungent by the Republican Party’s remarkable domination of all power systems only one or two years prior. The self-sacrificing bravery of those ancient Republicans [GOP] to take such a historically unlikely action attests to strong nationalistic patriotism, long a hallmark claimed by the group.

The event set a precedent followed by many similar political entities in the years since. Numerous “old style” dictators, theocracies and war lords, seeing the historic similarity of their various failed positions of violently imposed autocracy to the last Republicans, followed the example of the Republican Party's [GOP] self-dissolution to peacefully end their periods of control. Although condemned as ruthlessly opportunistic and corrupt at the time of its final dissolution, contemporary criticism of the Republican Party [GOP] has faded in favor of recognition of the new model of social order implied by this remarkable action of peaceful, voluntary self-extinction.

The term “Republican Solution” is now widely used to suggest to troubled autocracies around the globe that it is “Time to go quietly into the night.” Although widely hated at the time of its voluntary self-destruction, the modern evaluation of the ancient Republican Party's honorable embrace of its terminal destiny has rehabilitated the reputation of the name in modern times.

For a more contemporary account of the historic House vote:

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