Saturday, January 15, 2011

The View from the Summit of Mt. Cynicism

After an overly long "skittering about" session with a neo-con stranger this after noon on faceBook, MeanMesa has an unusually voracious appetite to "get back into the saddle" immediately! The final blow from this brave little miscreant was a complaint about the hyperbolic nature of this blog.

Oh dear.

However, through that "Veil of Alligator Tears," MeanMesa is determined that all the pain from this crushing critique be positively transformed into nothing less than a veritable "self-rehabilitating testimonial," and that means, of course, another poorly considered,  headlong plunge into even more deeply penetrating  and satisfying hyperbole!

MeanMesa's Compliments to the BBC Clothing Co.(logo ownership)
A Dark Fiction

The long string of armored limosines had patiently threaded its way from the private airport to the exclusive private resort atop Mt. Cynicism.  The  immense ballroom inside had been groomed for the meeting with fresh flowers and a gigantic flat screen behind a modest podium.  The rest of the room held around a hundred cozy little sitting areas, each one equipped with a massive lazy boy and a side table with a small, tasteful lamp.  A string quartet played a quiet, hypnotizing mix of elevator music and big band tunes.

In preparation for the conference, a single billionaire had been carefully seated at each chair.  A last minute comfort service of mineral water and caviar had been performed by the battalion of room servants.  Only a moment before, all these waiters and aides had been standing at a respectful distance along the outer wall, but now they had been dismissed, moving lock step in an overly disciplined line through the great entrance doors to the place to wait outside the room.

As the lights dimmed the speaker, Mr. Terror "Terry" Trustfund made his way to the microphone.  "Quiet please.  Let me begin with a warm welcome to all of you 'Boys Club' members.  Tonight we're going to have a short recap of our successful Phase One accomplishments and a brief presentation of our progress with Phase Two work."

"For those who have been following Phase One, you may have seen our efforts to gradually convince the hill billies that they were, in fact, billionaires just like we are.  Our message drifted through every American Legion bar and trailer park all across our real estate, that is, all across the country.  By the time we had finished, every debt ridden patriot was frog marching to our tune of outrage and long suffering victimhood at the hands of the Communist social justice menace."

"Our dutiful hill billies took the bait with a heart warming exuberance, no small accomplishment for our public relations managers.  We planted our own 'burning question of the day' into each and every one of them.  In no time these otherwise rather decent citizens were screaming that they would never pay for a poor person to go to the doctor."

"Meanwhile, our servants -- the brokers, bankers and those in the Senate -- were hard at work looting the treasury and hollowing all the loose capital out of Wall Street.  They have done a good job.  Their efforts have resulted in another big increase in our personal wealth, not to mention the opportunities of the economic havoc they wreaked while doing this."

At this point, Mr. Trustfund placed the image of a chart on the screen behind him.  It showed the growth in the percentage of ownership the billionaires had enjoyed over the last five years.  The last entry indicated that the audience in the room now owned 31% of everything in the entire nation.

"The public relations campaign has provided the needed cover for our Phase One looting objectives.  I would be remiss if I were not to point out that perhaps the most notable of these efforts was the work done by ex-Majority Leader Richard Armey with his now famous Freedom Works.  Although Dick isn't rich enough to be invited tonight, we can still share a moment of gratitude for his efforts with the tea bag 'movement' and all the mischief it created for us."

"However, this evening, we are here to discuss Phase Two of the scheme.  The tea bag thing is running out of gas now because it can no longer incite much news coverage.  This means that our Phase Two plans must now be put into motion."

"Happily, the shootings in Tucson have dropped out of the sky at precisely the best possible moment.  The emotions of public opinion have suddenly shifted from the old, carefully fabricated acrimony to the next stage, synthetic cooperation.  Of course, there was all the moaning and tooth grinding about gun control and too much violence, as if that were even possible."

"Phase One had left the hill billies with the idea that their guns would protect them from us."

The billionaire audience roared with laughter.

"So, now we are initiating our Phase Two 'We've got to get along' program.  During this second phase, all the inflamed hill billies and the terrified liberals are going to pretend to work together.  Of course, with the excellent preparation we've already accomplished, nothing will come from this turn of events.  Neither side trusts the other any further than they could throw a tractor."

"However, while the self-recrimination and guilt of all the arguing we started in Phase One are still stupifying all these poor people, we intend to move right ahead with our Phase Two asset procurement plans.  You will all be reassured to know that there are still a lot of assets left out there after our Phase One wrecking ball.  While all these silly plebians are foolishly trying to get 'kissy kissy' with each other, our looting plans can continue full steam."

"Our public relations people think that this latest chaos will probably roll ahead for another few months.  During that time, we can take all the Trillions we're holding and go shopping!  Remember, by the end of Phase Two we want to own at least half of everything in the nation.  We are also planning to increase our share of the total income from its present 35% to around 60%.  This means that each one of you is going to have to get busy getting richer."

"We're going to need all that money to get through our upcoming, planned class war in comfort and convenience.  It's going to be another few months before these voters get so disgusted with a paralysed government that they are finally ready for Phase Three.  When the whole thing collapses, believe me, they'll be looking for heroes and we intend to be there waiting to take over and restore calm."

"So, in closing, I realize that we have all borne the heavy burden of being unpopular all during the time we've spent putting this thing together, but better days are just ahead!  Our Three Phase Plan is not only going to put us back in charge of everything, it's going to make us look good while we are taking over!  I'll see everyone at the Phase Three Conference next year!"

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