Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Comprehending the GOPCon/Tea Bag Agenda of 2011

As MeanMesa watches the final dissolution of what used to be the Republican Party, an eerie fascination emerges with regard to precisely what this bunch will do next as the previous, famously unanimous "marble buttress" slowly becomes a jumbled collection of disjointed "marble blocks" on the wind torn field of political reality.  

Yes, we're talking about the equivalent of civil war, perhaps better described as the unavoidable onset of a messy, intra-party divorce.

Tripoli, Carthage, Hannibaal, Boehner, Scipio and Obama
History Repeats Itself?

The Third Punic War closed with the final collapse of Carthage at the hands of the young Roman General, Scipio -- later Scipio Aficanus.  Armed with the maximum effort of the Republic's armies and fleet, Scipio was given orders that "no two stones of Carthage were to remain mortared together" when his task was completed.  Because Carthage essentially suffered this fate, nothing remains on that rocky Southern Mediterranean coast today but the blocks.

This is the kind of total destruction which what remains of the old Republican party has now unleashed upon itself.  This has been carefully designed as the GOPCon "strategy moving forward."

Le Destruction de Carthage by Scipio Africanus 146 BCE (image source)
The analogy referring to the destruction of Carthage has an unsettling vector into the heart of contemporary affairs.  The ancient city was located in Eastern Libya, and its final end came at the hands on an unlikely, young Roman.  Might our present day situation also include a modern counterpart to Rome's noble Scipio?

Of course the GOP dinosaurs are still stumbling in circles around their old hunting grounds, but their breath is becoming labored and their once mighty teeth are now dropping from those formidable jaws.  The old bellowing and intimidation stills jerks along in fits and starts, but there is a strange new odor in the air.  It is the dull, grey suspicion of an approaching extinction, the causes of which are not yet clearly understood.  The list of participants, however, is as clear and bright as the bodies of song birds in the first dawn after a thermonuclear war.

Any observer of current political realities must fully accept the prospect of "end game" maneuvering on the part of the Republican remnant.  As their strategic conditions continue to decline even further, we can expect the disheartened GOPCons to behave with even more hubris as they wander through the sun set phase of their "looting wet dreams."

The hackneyed joke to the raiding Vikings, an attractive epitaph to the likes of Boehner and his unruly tea bags, comes to mind:  "Rape, pillage and plunder first, then burn."

So, what can we expect from the final chorus of this neo-conservative "Swan Song?"

The GOPCons' Final Agenda 
-- priorities by the numbers

"Drink up!" The Party's Almost Over!(image source)
1. Maintain the Conservative Base in an Incendiary State

Although FOX News has been assigned the main "heavy lifting," tea bags and other Republican stragglers must relentlessly continue the "God, Guns and Gays" talking points until the very end.  A few cynical lies about "Trickle Down" economics can be injected, but not if they are too complicated for the consumption of the hill billies and bigots.  The drawling "dirty shirt preachers" of the halcyon days during the autocracy seem to be losing their appeal amid the continuing wreckage of the economy.

2. Attempt to Complete the "Death Sentence" for Organized Labor

Oh sure, it started with Ronnie Raygun's night attack on the air traffic controllers, but since then the effort has turned into an on-going toothache.  The union members are pumped full to the gunwales with adrenalin after the "daylight attacks" in the states, and the ossified neo-con base has tired of hearing about the latest, phony union "outrages."  Wisconsin and Ohio haven't helped.

3. Continue the Moral Majority "Ground War"

Gingrich, while busy ripping apart the American government, commanded that the neo-cons of the day go to work making his "Moral Majority" a permanent blight by becoming dog catchers, librarians, city engineers and the like.  This strategy has matured to the present "train wreck" we see in the states with shiny new tea bag governors and legislators -- and recall petitions.  As usual, the  latest horde of semi-literate "eager beavers" neglected reading any local history before they commenced the latest series of poorly disguised "over reaches."

4. Keep Asking Independent Voters for a Date in 2012

This fickle block of 40% of voters elected Obama and a Democratic Congress in 2008, but were "wooed" back to "traditional values" under an onslaught of super weird GOPCon media frauds in 2010.  They still maintain their status as the "low hanging fruit" which might, in better times, have consolidated the GOPCon take over for one more election.  It turns out that Independents are just as horrified by the state-level "looting festival" as the most snarling, ultra left wing Democrat might be.

5. Exploit the Price Collapse in the Housing Market

Yawn.  Oh sure, everyone knows where this ugly mess came from, why it happened, who won and who lost.  However, GOPCon geniuses remain convinced that, somehow, the disaster can still be attached to Obama and the Democrats.  The essential GOPCon strategy is based on the idea that an Independent, middle class voter careening into personal bankruptcy with a foreclosed mortgage and a pink slip will automatically vote Republican in 2012.  Housing price problems and Independent voters are "sewn together" at the hip," but the GOPCon tactical error is the assumption that the incipient "mind numbing" rage has not abated.  It has.  Under water home owners are now fully awake.

6. Keep Attacking Obama - Even After It Has Quit Working

At first, the Presidential ad hominems were masked with a courteous film of "political discourse."  However, as the GOPCon nosebleeds continued, all the window dressing was removed, revealing an almost comical, adolescent obsession.  Voters gradually tired of hearing the jabs and pokes embedded in every third noun clause of the Rupert Murdoch approved "reporting."  This heavily soiled, sub-Goebbels propaganda campaign drew a little blood at first, but has now joined the rest of the GOPCon "tooth ache masquerading as a lolly pop" advertised -- while still in its wrapper -- as a delicious Birther, Kenyanite Socialist delight.

7. Stop Health Care at Every Possible Opportunity

Both the well paid GOPCon Congressmen and their generous insurance company sponsors know that the American voters will actually really like the Affordable Care Act if it should ever reach implementation.  The "sickness industry" has been plowing a million dollars per week into the project in a wide ranging panoply of subterfuge and obstruction efforts.  The whole tribe of "health haters" -- including allegedly Democratic Senators such as Max Baucus -- has accepted the task as an excellent paying, second job from the outset.  All will be lost for the multi-trillion dollar extortion scheme if the Act every reaches Main Street.

8. Maximize Citizens United Corporate "Stink" Money

The oligarchs have paid plenty for their "ownership title" on Supreme Court decisions.  The job now falls to the GOPCon strategists.  They must  now use the newly legalized corporate money flow to deliver votes.  The hill billies and bigots are still a bargain, but the price tag on the Independents has inflated every time the economy has gone further down the "crackow."  OMG, some of the citizens have dug out those old civics texts and looked up both "national socialism" and "democracy!"  Oooops.  Too late to burn the books.  Bad planning.

9. Sell Every Scrap of DeRegulation Which Can Be Found

The traditional GOPCon "cottage industry" of eliminating every shred of regulation which might, even possibly, lower illicit corporate profits will continue unchecked.  The hilarious but soul wrenching movie, Catch 22, was about WWII, but the neo-con play book will deliver an utterly un-regulated US culture to the same state.  Watch a few You Tube snippets of the movie, Catch 22, here.

Meanwhile, every foundational regulatory law on the books is in peril -- from child labor to Wall Street to environmental protection.  And, they are all for sale for the right price.

10. Protect, Maintain and Refurbish the Lobbying Industry

Even after every newly elected tea bag has packed his Congressional office with every lobbyist who might possibly ever be useful, there remains more hordes of the greasy little, sub-human beasts in nests on K street and the Christian bastion on C Street.  Every one of them has a Bible in one hand and a check book in the other.  Whether it's legalizing the dumping of pig manure into a river or murdering homosexuals in Uganda, some billionaire will pay for the favor.  Because the GOPCons are totally dedicated -- usually at the expense of democracy -- to the "care and feeding" of big business interests, the lobbyists must also be nurtured as smelly, but necessary, mechanisms for cash transfers.

11. Crush Effective Public Education

This "old rag" from the days of the founding fathers just makes it harder and harder to win an election based on Republican platforms and policies.  In this sense -- and MeanMesa is sure that the Roberts "Court" would agree -- it represents an attack on, uh, free speech.  Plus, all those greedy teachers are union members sucking oligarch money into their pockets like educational vampires!  If you are already a semi-literate tea bag, watching American kids learn enough to see through your scam can be quite uncomfortable.  They get uppity.

12. Try to Keep the Tea Bags From Getting on the News

The rolling onslaught of tea bags originally appeared as something which could be conveniently exploited by the oligarch master of the Republican Party.  However, after a few dozen episodes of drooling Southerners being interviewed on the national media fraud, the facts of the matter have surfaced -- something akin to a "fart in a spacesuit."  Now, all the corporate phone calls to Boehner are frantic pleas to just shut them up before they wreck the "looting scheme" Republicans are paid to protect.  Oh sure, the GOPCon image handlers bought them all new ties for their "media camera/mouth junk sorties," but it turns out that there's just not enough lipstick to make them look serious.

The tea bags have gradually transformed themselves from a possibly useful, public interest anomaly into a full fledged, raging drunk, embarrassment. The rich old "fat cat" GOPCon bosses don't like the dust storm and laughter any more.

13. Convert Austerity and "Spending Cuts" Into Wealth Redistribution

This little task is extremely straightforward.  Begin with a onslaught of incendiary propaganda about discretionary spending, carefully avoiding the inclusion of military procurement, no bid contracts, corporate welfare and tax cut subsidies.  Move on to highlight every possible benefit which poor, elderly or young children might receive, villainizing every Federal check which has gone to one of these "freeloaders" instead of into a corporate purse, all while carefully  obscuring and protecting the real "short circuits" in the corporate economy.

14. Obliterate All Consumer Protection Laws

Long cherished "doo dads" in banking regulations, credit card policies, screwy  mortgage frauds and the like represent a respectable chunk of corporate profits which must be protected.  Over charges on phone bills, penalties on payments incorrectly submitted, "not quite delicious" meat and produce offerings -- you name it.  Every one of these little issues is costing some billionaire corporatist a few cents of his "hard earned money."  GOPCons understand this.  They understand this even better while they are opening a campaign contribution envelope.

15. Protect Corporate Welfare

Okee-dokee.  Exxon is the most profitable corporation in the history of the planet.  This means that if you are a GOPCon, you must not only make sure that Exxon never pays a dime in corporate taxes, but also continues to receive $15 to $20 Bn dollars worth of subsidies from the government every year.  Right?  It's not just Exxon, either.  There are 300 top corporations in the US who either don't pay any taxes at all or even receive a check after tax time (hmmmm, "No tax time?").

If you are a well fed GOPCon you need to keep this going.

16. Crush Every Possible Kind of Renewable Energy Plan

The campaign contribution checks from coal companies spend exactly the same as the ones from big oil.  The tobacco checks have dwindled, but the dirty energy and oligarchy checks are flowing in faster than ever.  During this last great moment of the Republican Party the "money bins" must be force fed in every possible way so the cash will be there when the crooks finally think it's safe to sneak back into town.  Far sighted GOPCons are now perfecting their strategy to regain power in the absence of the current, constant flow of corporate energy dollars.  The  anti-democratic "death grip" of the energy corporatists may well be broken before the  Republicans can start winning elections again.

17. Block Tax Reform, Election Reform, Education Reform
and Prison Reform

In GOPCon logic any term which includes the word "reform" must be navigated to mean "against states' rights."  Once the first stuttering "states' rights" quips have inflamed the hill billies, the additional terms "Constitutional" and "founding fathers" can be safely added.  If the propaganda begins gaining traction, "against the Bible" can be added, later.  The basic criteria for such selections seems to be whether or not some reactionary throw back policy is similar to what might have been around in Alabama during the 1940's.

Conclusions, Conclusions

Because this posting has gone on so long already, MeanMesa will step aside now, encouraging visitors to Short Current Essays to add a few of their own selections.  So, rest a minute, then get busy!

All this nasty stuff is going to jump out, front and center, during the 2012 election.  Think of preparing yourself for the "water cooler" wars as being something akin to sharpening the stakes we will have to drive through the hearts of the denizens of this freak show to get the job done.

Get yourself ready.  Their day is coming.

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