Friday, March 25, 2011

Handling Michigan - A MeanMesa Solution

Helping Out National Socialism in Michigan

The tea bag rampage in the state of Michigan roared into action hours after the election results were announced.  All the normal indignities imposed by pseudo-Republican criminal looting squads began to unfold. 

Pseudo-Republican Looter, Rick Snyder (image source)
In no time, millions of scarce dollars from the ailing state's general fund were being funneled to campaign donors -- the billionaires and corporatist cronies one would expect to be "involved" in his election.  Even FOX News found these early moves a bit premature for one of the network's favorite carrion eating ideologues.

However, amid the corporate tax cuts rolling out of the State Capitol, another, even more adolescent vestige of the tea bag agenda, was delightfully buried in the mess.

Appointing Community Viceroys

Michigan Governor Gets Mixed Reviews on Plan to Cut Corporate Taxes, but Tax Pensions

Published March 25, 2011|

Michigan's new Republican governor is earning enemies and friends with his sweeping budget proposal, a plan that would slash corporate tax bills by applying a limited flat tax while making up the difference with new taxes on seniors and other groups. 

AARP Michigan has been one of the most vocal critics of Gov. Rick Snyder's plan, calling it "the biggest tax increase in the history of our state." The group held a rally last week under the banner, "It's Not Fair." 

Unions and Democratic officials have also come out against it, while business types claim the plan will spur growth. 

Snyder's budget gambit, which came after a bill that would give him the power to intervene in local government affairs during a fiscal emergency and cancel union obligations, is setting up another Midwestern battle in the same vein as the showdown in Wisconsin over union rights.

The tea bag gang bang gang had gleefully added a little stinker to their highly selective "austerity program."  The Governor's scheme included a provision 
1.) to rather arbitrarily determine whether or not a Michigan municipality was conveniently in a "fiscal emergency," 
2.)  to then appoint an unelected State Government administrator -- think of it as a "viceroy" in the "Bremer/Iraq/pallets full of hundreds" fiasco -- whose decisions would legally supercede any made by the elected offices in the community, and, 
3.) to empower the "emergency administrator" to simply cancel or abandon all previously existing collective bargaining contracts in the town.

Clearly a brilliant plan to, uh,  "spur business."   Right.

Now, having made these comments on the little crook's plan, MeanMesa could launch out into a tedious litany of Governor Snyder's other outrages and criminal mischief, or, MeanMesa could fire up the "philosophical lament" factory and go hyperbolic with all sorts of frothy cracks about how unfair things have gotten.  However, being a mature, imminently staid and preposterously dignified little blog, we'll do neither.

Into Action!  The MeanMesa Solution
So, if we're not going to waste our breath complaining about this insult to democracy, what, exactly, can we do?
The following idea comes "billowing" up from the very depths of MeanMesa's old "street theatre" fundamentals.
Apply for a job as one of Michigan's new, unelected community bosses.

Park it at the old work processor and start at it.  A few dozen MeanMesa visitors each write a throbbingly sincere letter to the Michigan State autocrat -- especially if the letters come from a variety of places all across the country -- to apply for one of the new "cushy" jobs Snyder has created for his new gang of unelected, union busting community overlords.

Now, it isn't likely that there will actually be any of these great jobs left after the Governor has taken care of every nephew, weird uncle and lost daughter in the families of his campaign donators, but, sometimes, it's the thought that counts.

The following sample job application may give you a few helpful clues.

Sample Job Application Letter

Dear Governor Snyder:

I am a true mindless neo-con who thinks that your plan to punish the children and elderly is a great idea.  It embodies the features of a "True American" which have become lost in the liberal "tax and spend" economy which has  not only delivered us to this tragic state but also gravely injured those in the markets by frightening them with new taxes.

Although I have little experience in government service, I feel that my out-of-control control issues, my vindictive attitude and my total loyalty to "True Americans" such as yourself qualify me for the position of "viceroy."  Perhaps, I could start out with a small, easily managed little town somewhere.

I assure you that I COMPLETELY understand that both discipline and punishment will be required to get one of these back sliding little liberal bastions back on its feet financially.  I can also assure you that I KNOW HOW to manage violent union thugs which might foolishly show up after I get started with the correction program.

Firing elected mayors, fire chiefs and police superintendents won't bother me at all.  I know that these positions must ultimately be filled with appointees who have the personal credentials to gain your approval.  The liberal agenda must be ripped from the roots of these villages by any means necessary.

I also happen to be unemployed at the moment.

I can provide excellent references from some of my good friends at the American Legion bar here in my hometown.

Sincerely yours in American Liberty and Freedom,
Clancy "Hodown" McFester

Go ahead.  Shoot off a nice application letter of your own.  After all of our applications are rejected, we can sue Governor Snyder's Human Resources Department for discriminating against us.

Oh well, at least we'll all feel better.  Maybe not. 

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