Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Keeping Your "Occupy-Self" Safe

Responsibility and Apologies

The videos have hit the net in a delightfully viral frenzy.  Millions of Americans have watched in horror as the UC Davis "police" sprayed sitting Occupy protesters with pepper spray.  Millions of Americans have watched the ever so sincere Chancellor of UC Davis (Where did this woman come from, anyway?) "apologize" for the "incident."

Happily, as can also be seen on another viral internet video, the Occupy and students gave UC Davis Chancellor Linda Katehi a profoundly moving "silent treatment" as she walked to her car.

Well, Chancellor Katehi, "responsibility" means "responsibility."

Let's see how this works, ChancellorYou were the one who signed all the checks to buy those police of yours their fancy "soldier" outfits, including the super-gigantic spray cans of "crowd control chemicals" they used on your fellow citizens.  You are also the one who clearly happily sat by while your police department saturated themselves with toxic FOX drivel as the gradually transformed into anti-democracy thugs who thought such actions were "just fine."

You were the one who these "little soldiers" of yours thought would roll over in their defense when they sent along the criminally falsified report that they "were surrounded."  Hmmm.  How did your little soldiers ever get an idea like that?

In fact, Chancellor, it's really a "bad turn of luck" that you decided to go "thug" the same week that the Seattle police thugs pepper sprayed and roughed up a pregnant Occupy protester, causing her to miscarry her baby.

The gosh darned "little people" in the United States have a really unfair, bad habit of consolidating stories like these all into one big stinky thing.

Which it is.

The MeanMesa Solution

Of course, all this complaining could not merit its own MeanMesa posting absent some plan to mitigate future, similar outrages for our visitors.

So, if you, valued visitor, have plans to do a little Occupy protesting, MeanMesa would like to invite you to join our national staff!  You job duties will require basically nothing -- the bar is, obviously, quite low here at MeanMesa.  And, of course, your pay checks will be just as gaseously immaterial as your work requirements.

However, you will get your very own MeanMesa PRESS PASS!  You can flash this baby at just the right moment and -- maybe -- avoid one of those now famous, anti-democracy beatings.

Just open up the jpeg below, insert a nice photo of yourself, fill in your name and print it up on a bit of card stock.  Scrawl your signature in the "issued to:" line and laminate it with tear gas proof plastic.  The preprinted form of this beauty is already signed by the NM Director of News Management, Ms. Pepper Spray.

Downloadable MeanMesa Press Pass

Of course it's a bold faced forgery of a document which doesn't actually exist, but it might give you that all important "moment of hesitation" in the mind of the guy who is getting ready to beat your brains out for America.  Feel free to offer copies to your Occupy friends so that they can individualize their own PRESS PASS with their own photos and name!

Have fun!

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