Monday, January 6, 2014

Trial Tips For a Utah Same Sex Lawyer

 It's In the Bible

When irony arrives as a full scale tsunami, what can a little blog do but dive in for a dip?

The Utah AG has officially asked the nation's reactionary Supreme Court to protect his State's "right" to subscribe to strict Old Testament law -- regardless of what nonsense the Constitution might say about it or any pesky previous Court precedent rulings.

If you are the lawyer headed to the marble columns in defense of the same sex marriage legalization, here is a single thread you might find useful as you weave together your case.

First, locate an injured party.

What kind of "injury" you ask?

Your plaintiff must testify that, prior to the legal marriage, he or she was a virgin.  After the potentially illicit Utah same sex wedding, the "Biblical wedding night" transpired as usual, and at dawn the next day, that virginity had been ended.  In fact, your plaintiff had reserved that virgin state so it could be made as a conjugal "gift" on the wedding night.

Now the State of Utah has determined to retroactively "erase" the value of that special conjugal "gift," making it impossible for that tender "gift" to be given ever again to a married spouse, even if a legal wedding should be held in the future.

There is plenty to say about church and state and about Biblical law "trumping" judicial law, but since adherence to Biblical law is presumably the validating justification of Utah's nullification effort, shouldn't application of the same "law" extend its legitimacy in this case to be strong enough to protect this plaintiff's "Biblical property?"

If the Catholics running the Supreme Court won't buy into it, immediately start to establish the equally "Biblical" cash value of the damages to establish a "reasonable" punitive remedy.   After all, virginity is an important -- and valuable -- commodity when a couple is navigating and negotiating their way to their marriage vows.

MeanMesa is thinking at least 6 or 7 digits.

Utah's ambitious actions toward nullification of the ruling have led to the total devaluation of one of this plaintiff's marital assets.  Can there be a clearer case of damage and standing?

Utah has deep pockets of readily available restitution for its premeditated, callous, craven, deceptive actions resulting in the destruction of your plaintiff's "Biblical property" and the subsequent violent devaluation of a highly intimate, personal property reserved to be a "one time only" token of marital loyalty and affection.

Your plaintiff will have been judicially and legislatively denied the possibility of ever making this "gift" again.

Just trying to help.

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